Becoming Who You Truly Are
Updated: Aug 24
Most leadership advice is about becoming something: more strategic, more visible, more decisive, more influential. I think the real work points somewhere different. It is not necessarily about becoming more. It is about becoming more fully yourself.
Seeing yourself as others do
For leaders, that starts with self-awareness, not the polished version of ourselves we like to believe we bring to work, but an honest look at how we actually operate under pressure, when we are challenged, or when things become uncertain, and at the patterns other people notice in us long before we notice them ourselves.
The gap between how we see ourselves and how others experience us is usually larger than we expect, and that gap is where much of the friction in leadership lives. A leader may see herself as decisive, while others experience her as controlling. She may believe she gives people space, while stepping in whenever something feels uncertain. She may value openness, yet become defensive when challenged. None of this makes her a bad leader. It makes her human. What matters is whether she is willing to see it.
Self-awareness changes what becomes possible. When you understand your own patterns, strengths and defaults under pressure, you have more choice in how you respond. You are less likely to simply react to the moment, or to lead in ways that quietly contradict what you say you value.
Why authenticity matters
This is where I think authenticity matters. It is not about being unfiltered, or saying exactly what you think regardless of the moment. It is about congruence, knowing what is genuinely yours, your values, your strengths, your way of making sense of the world, and leading from that place rather than from a version of leadership borrowed from someone else. Perhaps someone you admired. Perhaps someone who was successful before you. Perhaps simply the person you assumed a leader was supposed to be.
Over time, that kind of self-knowledge changes not only how you lead, but how people experience you. It shapes trust, psychological safety, and what people are willing to say in the room when a conversation is difficult. For me, this is also where meaning comes in. Meaning in leadership is not simply about doing the role well. It comes from feeling that the way you lead, and the impact you have, is genuinely your own.
Where this leads
This is the work at the heart of Becoming an Authentic Leader, the six-month programme I run for leaders, with the first public cohort starting 23 September. It is not about adopting another leadership model or trying to become a different kind of leader. It is about understanding how you actually lead, what drives your patterns, and what becomes possible when the way you lead is more fully aligned with who you are.
If this has been sitting with you, or if you recognise a gap between how you lead and how you would like to lead, I would be happy to have a short clarity conversation. No obligation attached. Feel free to reach out via LinkedIn or email.
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