Strengthen Connections with Intention

💬 “How are you doing?”

💬 “I’m fine, how about you?”

In England—and many other cultures—this exchange is often just a polite formality rather than a genuine expression of interest.

But when we ask, intentionally, 'How are you doing?'—with real curiosity, open-ended questions, and space to truly listen—it becomes a powerful gateway to meaningful conversation.

The most valuable thing we can give each other isn’t time—it’s our full attention.

Many leaders I work with tell me they struggle to find time for all the necessary check-ins, especially during the spring. The good news? Not every conversation needs to be 25 or 50 minutes long to have a real impact.

In fact, Harvard’s 85-year-long “Study of Adult Development”—one of the world’s longest studies on happiness—found that meaningful social connections are the single biggest predictor of long-term happiness and health. Not wealth, not status, not career success—but relationships and feeling connected.

A short, intentional conversation can lift your mood and brighten someone else’s day. When people feel heard and valued, they become more proactive, take ownership, and find their own solutions—instead of waiting for direction. Intentional check-ins build empowered, engaged team members who thrive and make a difference.

For many of my clients, spring is a particularly hectic season. National holidays like Easter disrupt routines and increase pressure. That’s why now is the perfect moment to introduce a new kind of check-in: short—but intentional.

Let your team know these conversations will be focused and that you’d like them to take the lead. You can always revisit and adjust the format in a few months.

And beyond check-ins, practicing presence, deep listening, and curiosity in all conversations can make a world of difference.

Try This: The 15-Minute “How Are You Doing?” Conversation

Before you begin, think about how you can create value for the person you are going to check in with. Then ground yourself with a short breathing exercise to help you feel calm, present, and fully engaged:

🧘‍♀️ Inhale deeply through your nose for four seconds

⏳ Hold for four seconds

😮‍💨 Exhale slowly through your mouth for six seconds

🌬️ Repeat three times

Then, set a timer for 14 minutes, put your phone away—and invite the other person to do the same. This leaves one minute to wrap up.

Begin with a warm welcome. Share something small—an insight, a personal learning, a recent experience, or just how you’re feeling. It doesn’t have to be profound—just authentic. This sets the tone for a genuine dialogue, not just another status update.

Next, give your full attention to the other person

👂 Listen—really listen

🧠 Stay curious

Ask open-ended questions like:

💬 What’s on your mind?

💬 What’s been exciting or challenging for you lately?

Resist the urge to fix or solve. Let the conversation unfold naturally. Avoid the common trap of turning the conversation back to yourself.

Fifteen minutes might not seem like much—but done with intention, it can be transformative. It builds trust, strengthens relationships, and helps create a culture where people feel seen, supported, and empowered.

Try it today—you might be surprised at what unfolds.